The RV

Bought at a police auction.
The gear shift was held on with a coat hanger.

When my son graduated from NC State he and his girlfriend (now wife) decided to take the epic road trip. They loaded up his two door Cavalier with camping gear and a cooler and headed off to California, hitting every quirky roadside attraction along the way. The post cards attest that they also landed at a fair number of breweries and distilleries, so the time wasn’t totally wasted. Late one night they pulled up to a campground and were told “Sorry, we’re full.” The result was they slept in the car sitting up. Ryan attempted to work his feet around the clutch and other pedals as he tried unsuccessfully to get comfortable.  He later said “If I EVER do this again I will drive something I can sleep in.”

Drive something I can sleep in…I thought that was brilliant. If a person had one of those vehicles it would open up all sorts of possibilities. That would mean that anything within 300 miles or so would be immediately accessible with minimal cost and planning, and with no reservations required. The beach...the mountains…rock concerts….you name it. His off-hand comment put the bug in my ear and I started searching for one of those vehicles you could sleep in.

After many hours online, I thought a Roadtrek would be a great choice. They have everything that you would find in a large motor home: gas cooktop, microwave, refrigerator, roof AC, shower, toilet, dinette, bed, generator, etc… It is all Tetris'd onto a standard commercial van chassis. It has the space considerations of a boat, but they they are super expensive. Now they start at $104,000. I wasn’t going to pony up anything like that, but in 2006 I came across what looked to be perfect. Gretchen and I flew down to Florida to check it out. 

Not knowing exactly where we were going, I anticipated an above ground pool, long grass, and a small, yapping dog. We realized that was an incorrect assumption when the cab turned into a gated community in Palm Beach. The address took us to a large house with a stamped concrete driveway that flared where it crossed the sidewalk and met the road. As we were walking up, a man came out and introduced himself. He took us took us to a tall, unattached, three car garage that was essentially empty. There were no yard tools, no Christmas decorations, not even a partial can of paint. Instead, in the center bay, was a large square of green astroturf on which sat at Roadtrek that was in pristine condition, despite being ten years old. There was not a bug smashed on the windshield, or a smudge on the chrome. Inside we saw that the first tissue was yet to be removed from the built-in dispenser. All the appliances still had their original stickers, including the bright yellow ones for energy usage. The toilet even still had a sani-seal across the seat. It looked like one of those urban legend garage finds and it could be mine for 20% of the cost of a new one. In fact, this deal was TOO good. Was it stolen, or part of property from a yet-undecided divorce. So I asked Bob to level with me. Why is this van here and in this condition?

Roadtrek Model 190

The Roadtrek was owned a couple of college professors. Both of them were only children and they had no children of their own. The woman was afraid to fly, so their vacations were always limited to local destinations. Her husband told her that when they retired they would get an RV and tour the entire United States and go all the way to Alaska and back.  (Actually, their plans very similar to what Ryan and Katie had done.)

The trip never came to be.

They bought the Roadtrek,  one that was completely loaded, and had it delivered straight from the manufacturer in Canada to their home. Then he got a very aggressive form of cancer and died just a few weeks later. He passed away right around when they would have left on their first trip. 

After the funeral Wanda could not bear to part with the van because it reminded her of him, and of their plans. By holding on to the Roadtrek she could still take that trip in her mind. So she put it into air conditioned storage and would sometimes visit it. She would sit in the passenger seat and read or knit. One evening she fell asleep and didn't wake up until hours after closing time. She was had pound on the windows of the manager's apartment so he could let her out. It was at that point she decided to build the garage just for the van. 

Ten years passed before you knew it, time moves faster when you are older. She was now in her 80s and her friends implored her to get rid of the RV. For gosh sakes, Wanda Jean, at least sell it to someone who will use it as intended! She finally relented and I was the first person to see the ad.

She wasn't at home when we got there because she couldn't stand the thought of seeing this part of her life roll out of the driveway. Bob was the next door neighbor and a caretaker of sorts. He would let himself in every couple of weeks or so and drive the van around the neighborhood. At this point it had 7,300 original miles. Well, if she wanted someone to use the vehicle as intended....I gave him a check. 

The title had already been signed. 

She knew if I saw it I'd buy it.

Gretchen and I took our time driving back to North Carolina, eating and napping more than we really felt the need to, just because we could. Over the next few weeks we bought storage containers for every nook and cranny and stocked the van with everything we could possibly need for a moment's-notice trip. Clothes, toiletries, ponchos, sunscreen, bug spray, ibuprofen, you name it. It was if our driveway cradled the improbable offspring of a Swiss Army Knife and a magic carpet.

It has everything you need.

Over the next few months we were gone almost every weekend traveling to marathons, swim races, and sight seeing. We'd take it to parties so we wouldn't have to drive home afterwards. In spite of all of this, I felt like I was driving a loaner. It seemed like it should still belong to Wanda and she should be the one who was having fun. One day I called her on the phone and told her how much we were enjoying the Roadtrek and then asked her if we could name it after her husband. She told me his name was Homer.

I could not imagine a more PERFECT name! Homer was that guy from the Odyssey, the one that had the great adventure. An RV is really just a home on wheels. And I was also a huge Simpsons fan. So Homer it was. We got vanity plates that said HOMER and Gretchen got a dog and named her Wanda. From that point on, whenever we went on a trip, we would take pictures and mail them to Wanda in Florida. I always made sure that she got at least one photo of the Roadtrek and the dog, and I'd say "I just thought you'd like to know what Homer and Wanda were up to." This continued for several years and even had a way of directing some of our trips. If we were on the fence about where to go, we would decide based on which pictures Wanda might like best. 

One rainy Saturday afternoon on a back road in Virginia, Homer met his demise. He was totaled when an oncoming vehicle lost control and slammed into the passenger side. I wrote to Wanda for the last time to inform her, to give her some closure of sorts. I included one last batch of cherry picked pictures and thanked her for the memories. We lost touch after that. 

RIP Homer.

As part of our retirement plans, we have discussed moving back to the United States and do our own great American road trip. We'd get another RV, nothing fancy, just something we could sleep in. It would also need to be big enough to hold us and the dogs. There are now three. Other than that we don't know. We might get a trailer or possibly a camper, or maybe even a fifth wheel. Nothing is set in stone, except we do know it will be named HOMER.